Partners and family

Edited and managed by Walter Hummel

This section has been created for partners and families of women who have endometriosis. Our intention is to help those who love and care for a woman with endometriosis to understand this disease better – because that special woman in your life needs your support!

I have been in a relationship for 5½ years now with a woman who has endometriosis and we have been through so much*.

The best advice I can give anyone is to support your woman!

Endometriosis not only affects our relationship, but it affects her family, school, job, and life in general.

What you have to understand is that this woman cannot do certain things, and you have to adjust your life to work with her and help her as much as you can.

Being powerless

The worst part is when she is in pain there is absolutely nothing you can do, just holding her in your arms is the best solution, but the pain cannot be stopped during the time it takes its course.

The best advice I would give is to talk. You have to communicate because if you do not then the partner could stray away and feel that he or she is not loved. Communication helps the partners and family understand that this is not fake; the pain is real and has to be taken care of in the best way possible.

There is no cure for this disease, so as a partner or family member, just be there to support this woman who goes through so much pain and suffering!

Sharing experiences

I’ve started a Facebook discussion group, where women with endometriosis – and their partners and families can discuss frustrations and solutions about how it is to deal with this disease in daily relationships.

on Facebook you can find us at: Endometriosis Couples

www.twitter.com/EndoRelationshp

or via email: endorelationships@gmail.com

Helpful resources

Vanessa and I have found the following articles and resources really helpful.

> When others don’t understand

> What do I tell others about endometriosis?

> Communications: one way to understand endometriosis

> Family and partners

> Painful intercourse

> Be good to yourself

Do share these articles with your partner and your families. They will help explain the impact of the disease, and are helpful in communicating what it’s like to have endometriosis – for the woman who has it, and for those who care for her!

*Our story

Vanessa and I met through Facebook on a group I created for my college’s singles. We became friends and talked for about a year before we decided to hang out.

We met at the college cafeteria and had lunch. This went well, so we decided to see a movie at my friend’s dorm. I was really nervous because I did not want to mess things up because I really liked this girl. Winter break came and since we lived so far apart, I had to drive 85 miles to take her on our first official date where we went bowling and had a great time.

As you can see it was normal dating; but, what I did not know was that she had endometriosis.

We fell in love and then I started to notice things. She would get sick a lot and not tell me what was going on. I asked her mom and all she said was that she gets sick a lot and that she missed a lot of high school because of it, so I had no idea.

I will never forget the first time that I truly saw it in action: she looked like she was in pain, and I asked her what was wrong.  She said: “nothing”. She then went down on the floor and curled up in a ball, and there was nothing I could do until it had run its course. I always believed that she had the pain but never saw how much before.

Vanessa is now getting back to normal because she had surgery and she has improved. But we both know that it is not gone, despite her doctor doing an awesome job cleaning her out. I am glad we went through this experience together because it enables me to support her.